What Has Happened to Yoghurt?

I don’t know if anyone else in the UK feels the same as me about this, but it’s getting ridiculous now.

Yoghurt – yummy creamy dairy goodness in an ickle pot. Fruity bits added as either pieces or puree to flavour. It’s not complicated, is it?

Oh…..but it is!! It is bloody well mouth frothingly frustratingly hard to buy a normal yoghurt these days. Ye Gods!!

All I want is a few pots of yoghurt to have for my breakfast some mornings.

I do not want yoghurt with bits of grains or cereal in. Sorry, but it’s really not a pleasant experience trying to work your tongue round those icky soggy bits of yack that are supposed to be good for you. Really??? Nooooo!!! Take the cereal out of the yoghurt for heaven’s sake you stupid people. If I wanted muesli, I’d bloody buy muesli. If I wanted yoghurt with my muesli, I’d spoon some on. Whose weird demented mind thought that one up? Own up now, you damn silly fool!!! I need to shout at you!!!

And what happened to sensible flavours like banana? Peach? Cherry? Orange?

The only banana yoghurt I have been able to find for the last few years is Muller, and it has a section of chocolate covered cornflakes with it. It’s actually quite nice, except that alongside the flavour of banana and choccy cornflakes ……is aspartame!! *starts to go red in the face*  Come on…..low fat yoghurt…………..zero fat yoghurt……..WTF???  Fine. If people think eating whole and wholseome yoghurt is going to make them fat (rather than the choccy covered cornflakes) then they are stupid. But please…..for the love of all that’s wholesome in the world…………STOP USING ASPARTAME instead of sugar. It is EEEEvil!! Evil, I tell you!!! Sugar might be fattening but at least it’s natural and IT TASTES NICE. Aspartame tastes vile. Ick, ack and blurgh!!!

It seems that nowadays you have to mix your flavours. Ok, peach and apricot is nice, as is passionfruit and….whatever. But coconut and lime? In a yoghurt?  Rhubarb?? Apple and prunes??? *faints*  There seems to be a huge glut of coconut blends at the moment. Hell, I even saw COFFEE yoghurt a few months ago. I did buy some. But it sat in the fridge until it got so bored it tried to escape, because I just wasn’t brave enough to taste it O_o

Some flavours just should not be mixed, and coffee with yoghurt is one of them. Would you add yoghurt to your Nescafe, instead of milk?? I don’t think so!!!

And why…..why????? Do we have yoghurts that are whipped to the point of starchiness?? Tis unnatural, I tell you!! Yoghurt should be thick but still fluid. We tried one of these whipped yoghurts recently, and seriously, I could fill cracks in the wall with it. It’s wrong!! Just plain wrong.

Come back Ski yoghurts with all your glorious array of sensible, normal flavours. You are now sadly reduced to only being available in 4 packs at the cheapy end of the display, and in only 4 flavours – and strawberry and raspberry I cannot eat, because you actually use real fruit, which includes the deadly (for me) seeds *not sure whether I want to explode or sob at this point!*

And talking of seeds…………..I do have a favourite organic brand, and they do a delish mango yoghurt. But I got passionfruit one time………………I really had no idea passionfruits had so many bloody big seeds in them!!! W…..T….F????? Why put them in the yoghurt???? *sobs* Have you not heard of a sieve?????

I am going to have to resort to making my own, I reckon, coz despite hundreds of different pots on sale, there is really hardly any that is worth buying.

Oh…..Asda do have a banana yoghurt…………made by Cow & Gate…….for babies!!

*stomps off in a huff*

 

 

 

 

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This entry was posted in Things that make me go "Rarrrr" (or...time for a good Rant!!) and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to What Has Happened to Yoghurt?

  1. pedanticscouser says:

    well theres nothing like a good rant, and this is a good one.

    Remember the days of real milk, or should i say “REAL MILK”, left on the door step with a thick and i mean THICK layer of cream on top (which the birds had probably pecked through the top to get to), and in winter the cream would have started to freeze and push the top off.

    Then theres jam, i like a teaspoon of it on porridge for breakfast but after making some homemade plum jam last year from plums on our tree and finishing the last jar I bought one in shop, then promptly threw it in bin (after hurling abuse at it !) as it tasted awful by comparison !. So looks like i can only have nice jam if i make it myself and when it runs out its out until next season on tree.

    Fruit bits in yoghurt are probably put there due to some “marketing guru” who’s objective is to “improve customer expreience” and to catch new (market streams) customers (kids who only want sweet tasting stuff full of additives).

    God, i must sound cynical. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Moongazer says:

      I like plum jam but its really hard to get hold of round here. No one seems to stock it.
      I do indeed remember doorstep deliveries. Another industry destroyed by modern supermarkets. It was eco friendly too as you returned the empties.

      Like

  2. magickmogwai says:

    This is seriously the funniest rant I’ve read in ages. It just had a car full of people laughing and nodding in agreement as I read it out. And my mum pointed out you didn’t even touch on the probiotic, good bacteria junk they put in then nowadays. You’ve made me feel like getting the yoghurt maker out again lol

    Liked by 2 people

    • Moongazer says:

      Cor blimey! Thank you for the compliment 🙂 Tis nice to make people smile.
      Real yoghurt does have probiotics in it naturally but its quite disturbing in a way that they have to add it in. Does that mean that until they make it ‘live’, it was dead? Is probiotic yoghurt (as opposed to live yoghurt, actually frankenyoghurt? Eek!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. pedanticscouser says:

    Yeh !, we need a campaign to bring back REAL Yoghurt and dump the politically correct poncy rubbish being sold today. Forget ISIS, 3rd world war, asteroid impact, climate change, Yoghurt is a major issue that politicians are ignoring in their manifestos as food companies lobby politicians to go easy on them !
    Rant over !

    Like

  4. Trisha says:

    Great rant! The yogurt aisle is now like the cereal aisle – full of dozens of unnatural flavors.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. beverley says:

    I know just what you mean! All i can say is Loseley or Yeovalley might be useful. Aspartame makes me ill.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ScorpionGlow says:

    You’d probably lose your mind looking at what is available here. By the way, coffee yogurt is AWESOME. I do not buy “sensible” flavors and I’d never buy banana. To each their own.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Moongazer says:

      Indeed, people must buy them, even if only for the novelty value lol
      I’ll take your word for it on the coffee and continue to mourn the banana 😛

      Like

      • ScorpionGlow says:

        I doubt it, as many of the flavors that you’d probably consider insane are actually very good.

        Banana is available here, but I don’t buy it. The coffee is an acquired taste. Not everything is for everyone’s taste buds.

        Like

  7. lydiaa1614 says:

    Everything you have written here are the reasons I bought a yoghurt maker and make my own! Then I can add anything I want…or not!

    Like

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