About (two)

About me a couple of years on from the morphine fog? Well, I still have my fibromyalgia, which is a daily battle, and I still struggle with the fatigue, but I do have less back pain until I bend down for something or if I do something like go round the supermarket when it lets me know big style that its still there *sigh*

And I still have my down days, as is to be expected, I guess. But in other ways, I am in an entirely different and much better place, and I shall be blogging about that very soon.

I started this blog with much enthusiasm about blogging about everything, but here’s the thing….when it came down to it, I just couldnt put into words all the bad stuff – simply because there was so damned much of it!! And I would think ‘who really wants to hear endless droning on about pain?’ it made me feel exhausted just thinking about writing about it, and its not the kind of thing to encourage readership.

But during the summer last year I had a kind of epiphany – or more accurately I took a long hard look at myself and my life. Its true, my life is not what it was, and never will be again, and there are days when I still mourn that – usually out of frustration – but I – ME – am still inside this fleshy covering of pain. And all those half formed ideas of rediscovering myself were there in some misguided attempt at remaking my life. HOWEVER – that could never happen could it?!?! Because while my body doesnt work the same way, the person inside cant be transplanted. And if anything, it was time to – it was an opportunity to – be more true to myself than I had possibly been since I was a child.

So, I decided to actually ‘live’ – not the life I had wanted for myself at this age – but the life that enfolded in front of me.

I didnt do this with perfect ease, I still dont, but ….but anyway – get back to the blog and start reading it again. i think you might notice a change from what I used to post, and what will be posted from now on.

There are cats still, most definitely! There will be more crafts! And chaos is guarenteed!! But there will be more of those bizarre moments that seem to strike me with alarming frequency. And there will be swearing. because I do swear – it is not intended to offend you, but if it does, just dont read.

39 Responses to About (two)

  1. ahuelon says:

    Thanks for telling me about you. We all are linked for a reason. Comfort, and understanding will help us go forward, and along the way we will know that we are not alone. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ahuelon says:

    I also love cats and have been knee deep in crafts all of my life. I am old as dirt so I have a lot of history with crafting. Developed a teaching program for craft classes for a major craft store and taught tons of classes. My favorite turned out to be quilting. After I learned the techniques needed I began designing my own quilts. My manic phases helped me a lot during those times. Often my designs were out of the box. When my manic condition backfired was when I bought fabric. Today I cannot go into a fabric store. When I moved to my small apartment 4 years ago I had to rent 2 storage units for my fabric and supplies related to my passion. A quilt shop I visited regularly went out of business and had a great sale, at one point 75% and even 90% off. I was saying give me that bolt and that bolt. I am sure you are getting the picture. I have made over 200 quilts and have donated 100’s of yards to The Linus Project. They make quilts for children in hospitals between the ages from birth to 18. I guess my obsession has been helpful.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Moongazer says:

      Wow!! That’s a lot of quilts! And a lot of fabric lol. But I can understand the appeal of a sale like that. I can see how your bi polar would help your creativity, and I bet some of those wacky designs looked amazing when done 🙂
      I used to teach crafts when I taught disadvanted 16-21 yr olds as part of the enrichment side. The girls faces would light up when they saw all the beads etc. The relaxed tone to the classes also allowed them to talk and ask me about things they wouldnt normally.
      I read your blog 🙂 and see that you use natural supplements to support your bi polar. I use amino acids and other nutrition now to support my depression.
      I am looking forward to reading more and getting to know you. You sound like an amazing lady, with so much knowledge and experience to share xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ahuelon says:

    I really go up when I am working on a quilt and go down when I have to say goodbye to my baby. The four I am most proud of are quilts for eighth grade classes of 4 of my grandkids. Their Catholic school has a fund raising auction each year and each class is responsible for a big item or group of items that are highlighted during the event. My quilt was the main part of the class offering. I always get the student to design the blocks, and offer me a choice of 3. I show them the fabrics I will be using. I turn their designs into a quilt, the size is determined by the size of the class. The first one was a queen sized and it went for $3000.00. I was at that auction and almost fell out of my chair. A reg. sized went for $1800. and a lap sized went for $1000. This last one in 2013 went for $850.00. It’s story has the greatest ending. A family with lots of kids made the highest bid but what they did brought me to tears. A classmate of that class was waiting for a heart transplant. The family gave the quilt to him saying they wanted him to have something special to wake up to after his transplant and to feel the love his classmates had for him. He had a successful transplant this past summer and is doing quite well. Goes to show we never know what the impact of our lives.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Just wanted to let you know that I linked your blog in one of my posts so I hope you get some new visitors coming around. Thanks for the inspiration and I am continuing to read your blog. I can relate so much to you!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. JustSomeDood says:

    I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award 🙂 https://imjustsomedood.wordpress.com/2015/01/11/versitle-blogger-award/ if you choose to accept it

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Pingback: Not You, But Maybe Me | you ain't special

  7. magickmogwai says:

    You are an inspiring person. Don’t think people don’t want to hear about pain – I think hearing about the good and bad of others helps me deal with the bad I have, helps me realise I’m not alone. And hearing about the good makes me want to aim for the same. And hearing about cats? Well that is always a good thing lol

    Liked by 2 people

    • Moongazer says:

      Yis, cats are always good 🙂 Thank you for the lovely comments. Since I wrote this page I’ve found my blog helped enormously last year, which was just hideous, so I do post about the pain now. I have found tremendous support from people here on WP, and you’re right, it does help to know we’re not alone with things – whether physical or emotional. Good to ‘meet’ you 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Moongazer says:

      Cool – you have blue hair too 🙂 I loved having blue hair. And purple LOL. Most recently I was scarlet, but its fading now to an awful pink, so I will have to amend that soon 😀

      Like

  8. yasb says:

    I’ve got a lovely cat too, a calico…

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Hey, I found your post at Harsh Reality Meet and Greet. It’s always nice to see other “random” bloggers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ellen Hawley says:

    I’ve been there and I lost (more or less) four years of my life to chronic fatigue, as they were calling it at the time. (When they can’t cure something, they change the name periodically.) This is going to sound big-league nutburgery, but for what it’s worth, here’s my experience: I started working with a homeopath and gradually, gradually got better. He was the second one I tried–the first one got me nowhere, and it took the second one several tries before he found something that helped. I know studies say homeopathy doesn’t work, but I’m prepared to swear it’s not the placebo effect because I went into it thinking it was nutty but desperate enough to try it anyway. If a placebo was going to help, wouldn’t the antibiotic my gp gave me have done it, since I do,at least, believe in antibiotics? When he hit on the right remedy, it made a clear difference.

    Whatever you choose to do, however you choose to cope, I wish you the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: The Poetry Challenge! | Katzenworld

  12. After having read all three about pages, I can really only say that’s one hell of a story and wish you all the best.

    Thank you so much for stopping by to read my blog. It means a lot.
    Have a great day!
    -Daniel

    Liked by 1 person

  13. utahan15 says:

    keep on as you can. nice blog!

    Like

  14. Vicky Louise says:

    Hello you! I nominated you for an award… I don’t actually know how these things work… but hey ho!
    https://wafflingsofanopenbook.wordpress.com/2015/05/05/a-mile-stone-and-my-first-award/

    Love and hugs! 🙂 xx

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Pingback: Shout out to my followers! I have more than 10 followers! HOLY CRAP! I have 11 Followers! | Grits, Hugs, and Sweet Tea

  16. Donna says:

    I nominated you for a fun challenge if you are interested you can check it out here http://dadojodest.com/2015/06/23/first-post-challenge/

    Like

  17. Hi 🙂 I have nominated you for the Sunshine Award. You can see my post here http://gentlementalannie.com/2015/06/24/sunshine-award-nominees/
    Annie ❤

    Like

  18. Vicky Louise says:

    Hi sugar plum! You’ve most likely already had this award, but have it again… cause you’re awesome 😉

    https://woaob.wordpress.com/2015/08/06/encouraging-thunder-award/

    Like

  19. daniellajoe says:

    Very interesting post, I think we are all on some type of journey…Enjoy Today….and thanks for visiting with me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s