What Has Happened to Yoghurt?

I don’t know if anyone else in the UK feels the same as me about this, but it’s getting ridiculous now.

Yoghurt – yummy creamy dairy goodness in an ickle pot. Fruity bits added as either pieces or puree to flavour. It’s not complicated, is it?

Oh…..but it is!! It is bloody well mouth frothingly frustratingly hard to buy a normal yoghurt these days. Ye Gods!!

All I want is a few pots of yoghurt to have for my breakfast some mornings.

I do not want yoghurt with bits of grains or cereal in. Sorry, but it’s really not a pleasant experience trying to work your tongue round those icky soggy bits of yack that are supposed to be good for you. Really??? Nooooo!!! Take the cereal out of the yoghurt for heaven’s sake you stupid people. If I wanted muesli, I’d bloody buy muesli. If I wanted yoghurt with my muesli, I’d spoon some on. Whose weird demented mind thought that one up? Own up now, you damn silly fool!!! I need to shout at you!!!

And what happened to sensible flavours like banana? Peach? Cherry? Orange?

The only banana yoghurt I have been able to find for the last few years is Muller, and it has a section of chocolate covered cornflakes with it. It’s actually quite nice, except that alongside the flavour of banana and choccy cornflakes ……is aspartame!! *starts to go red in the face*  Come on…..low fat yoghurt…………..zero fat yoghurt……..WTF???  Fine. If people think eating whole and wholseome yoghurt is going to make them fat (rather than the choccy covered cornflakes) then they are stupid. But please…..for the love of all that’s wholesome in the world…………STOP USING ASPARTAME instead of sugar. It is EEEEvil!! Evil, I tell you!!! Sugar might be fattening but at least it’s natural and IT TASTES NICE. Aspartame tastes vile. Ick, ack and blurgh!!!

It seems that nowadays you have to mix your flavours. Ok, peach and apricot is nice, as is passionfruit and….whatever. But coconut and lime? In a yoghurt?  Rhubarb?? Apple and prunes??? *faints*  There seems to be a huge glut of coconut blends at the moment. Hell, I even saw COFFEE yoghurt a few months ago. I did buy some. But it sat in the fridge until it got so bored it tried to escape, because I just wasn’t brave enough to taste it

Some flavours just should not be mixed, and coffee with yoghurt is one of them. Would you add yoghurt to your Nescafe, instead of milk?? I don’t think so!!!

And why…..why????? Do we have yoghurts that are whipped to the point of starchiness?? Tis unnatural, I tell you!! Yoghurt should be thick but still fluid. We tried one of these whipped yoghurts recently, and seriously, I could fill cracks in the wall with it. It’s wrong!! Just plain wrong.

Come back Ski yoghurts with all your glorious array of sensible, normal flavours. You are now sadly reduced to only being available in 4 packs at the cheapy end of the display, and in only 4 flavours – and strawberry and raspberry I cannot eat, because you actually use real fruit, which includes the deadly (for me) seeds *not sure whether I want to explode or sob at this point!*

And talking of seeds…………..I do have a favourite organic brand, and they do a delish mango yoghurt. But I got passionfruit one time………………I really had no idea passionfruits had so many bloody big seeds in them!!! W…..T….F????? Why put them in the yoghurt???? *sobs* Have you not heard of a sieve?????

I am going to have to resort to making my own, I reckon, coz despite hundreds of different pots on sale, there is really hardly any that is worth buying.

Oh…..Asda do have a banana yoghurt…………made by Cow & Gate…….for babies!!

*stomps off in a huff*