Let’s Put Some Music On……..Ah Yes…..

That’s better 🙂  It was far too quiet, and my mood far too flat. Music helps both.

(Cheap Trick – I want you to want me)

Everyone has been out most of this weekend. Three of them spent the day shopping in Sheffield, while the fourth one worked. Today one is at work, one is out with friends, and the other two are out Geocaching. I think that’s how you spell it.

(Killing Joke – Love like Blood)

For anyone wondering what Geocaching is, it’s when you go in search of items hidden by other Geocachers. Inside each item is a piece of paper for you to write your Geocaching name, the date etc before you put the item back.  It’s a worldwide phenomena, and something I would have done with the girls when they were little, had it been around back then. More info HERE

(Sonique – It feels so good)

As it involves a lot of walking, it’s not something I can take part in 😦  So I have been on my own a lot this weekend. Apart from yesterday evening when they brought home a KFC and after they had shared the day’s purchases and experiences with me, we sat and watched Seventh Son. It was ok…ish. If I hadn’t read the books I might have enjoyed it, but about the only things it had in common with the books were the names of the characters. Such a shame too. The KFC was good though  🙂 And they’d all had a good day out, were happy and relaxed

(Simple Minds – Somewhere in Summertime)

(Gary Moore – Wishing Well)

(Visage – Fade to Grey)

(Linkin Park – What I’ve Done)

And they are now all home, and the aroma of Roast Pork is drifting up the stairs to me.

How am I?

Well, the zopiclone is definitely making a difference, and I have dragged my going to sleep time back from between 4 & 6 am to approx 2am. This is progress, and each night until the 2 weeks supply runs out, I will keep bringing the time back. It would be nice to get to the right side of midnight.

(Barclay James Harvest – Paper Wings)

My therapy session was ok. The therapist is a nice enough chap. He’s about my age, which is good. It would be weird talking to someone younger than me about all this heavy duty stuff, I think.

But boy is he perceptive!! Scarily so, in one instance. I felt a bit ‘put on the spot’ at that point, but it passed. I have 24 more weeks, although this might be extended if it seems appropriate nearer the time.

(Nelly Furtado – Say It Right)

I have taken my L-Carnitine the last 2 days as well, although I am struggling to get the 12.5 grams of d-ribose in. I am trying to use up the ‘wafers’ and each one is 1.5 grams, but by the time I have chewed my way through 2, I can’t face anymore for hours, so I am only getting about 6 grams so far. BUT – I am feeling a change. My pain levels were greatly reduced yesterday, and are about the same today. But I think that is the improvement in my sleep.

(Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear the Reaper)

I was up and about yesterday, but have just stayed in my room today. Not doing anything of any significance. Just mooching.

I have been quite tearful this week. I cried several times whilst watching the Jennifer Aniston film Cake yesterday afternoon, she portrays chronic pain very well indeed. I move like that LOL but the story itself is very sad. I recommend it, though be aware if you have lost anyone – that you may cry.

(Marillion – Jigsaw)

(Green Day – Boulevard of Broken Dreams)

The number of blog posts I have read and felt myself welling up to, is mad. Songs too – a particular line and my vision is blurry. I am hormonal, which isn’t helping, then there is this start of the therapy process, and of course – the biggy – tomorrow being the first anniversary of my mum passing.

We are all feeling it. Despite the good times I have described so far, there is a muting, a subdued air.

(Keane – Emily)

I am here for my girls if they need me, but I am not ready to talk about it. No doubt my therapist will hear some of it next week.

(Underworld – Born Slippy)

I guess emotionally I just a bit all over the place. I’m all contrary too. I want company but I don’t. I can’t focus to read to lose myself in a book. I don’t feel like watching anything today. I think I might go and sit in the garden with my earphones for a bit.

If I am not around for a few days, don’t worry about me. I know I owe emails – I will get round to them, I promise. It’s taken me over 2 hours to write this post, which will give you an indication of how I am at the moment.

(((((((hugs)))))))) to everyone………………

xxxx

 

 

 

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This entry was posted in Boosting My Mitochondrial Function, Depression, Fibromyalgia related stuff, Soundtrack Of My Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Let’s Put Some Music On……..Ah Yes…..

  1. Vicky Louise says:

    Aww my favourite style posts of yours and it comes with news of a funky mood! I hope it passes soon lovely! 😉

    Big hugs to you from me and the furries xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. daniellajoe says:

    Hugs!! I hope you are bright and sunny again…sometimes we all get into that depressive mode…just don’t linger there too long….. lol…… Have A Very Happy Day!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. magickmogwai says:

    Glad your therapy went ok. I have new therapy people to meet on Thursday since my support worker has been so bad I’m being moved to a new one so I know how hard it can be to get over that first time. Well done. Hopefully the sleep will improve more and the pain with it. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Donna says:

    I hope you are feeling less contrary and sad soon. sitting in the garden does sound like a good idea. Take care

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Trisha says:

    With the anniversary of your mother’s passing coming up, it’s no wonder you’re feeling teary and contrary. I hope sitting in the garden helps. Be gentle with yourself. These kinds of anniversaries are so difficult.

    I watched Cake a few weeks ago and I feel like I move like that sometimes too! Usually, it’s more of a shuffle or a waddle though. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. New Journey says:

    GO have a nice chat with your mum…she will listen and no doubt you will feel her close…its had to loose our mothers….I talk with mine often…she doesn’t always respond, but 9 times out of 10 life gets better for me….I have tears running down my cheeks as I type this….I lost my mom a couple years ago…very difficult….but I know my mother and well as yours is watching over us, listening to us and those late nights when you feel alone….they are there hold us…..be well my friend they wouldn’t want us to be sad…..XXXXXXXXXXXXXXhugsrightbackatyouXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Like

    • Moongazer says:

      Thank you for your kind words. I can do that with my dad and I often feel him around, but not my mum.
      ((((hugs)))) I’m sorry my post made you cry 😦

      Like

      • New Journey says:

        My belief is that when some of them crossover they never look back…I can’t feel my father at all, he passed in 1983 and it was just a short time after that he was gone….but my mum is still around, my sister hasn’t been around in a very long time…I personally take that as a good sign…they are at peace wherever they are….it won’t be long till my mom is gone….just feeling I get but I know its coming…don’t be sorry…sometimes tears are cleansing…no matter the reason….hot crocodile tears can be a good thing….and its okay to be sad….

        Liked by 1 person

  7. lydiaa1614 says:

    Love your music choices! I am glad the zopiclone is helping you with sleep. And I send my condolences on the anniversary of your Mom’s passing. My Mom has been gone for 20 years now (and my Dad for 3) and it can still hurt. Sending you lots of {{{{{hugs}}}}}

    Liked by 1 person

    • Moongazer says:

      (((((hugs))))) for you too. I think I grieved for my mum more in the last 2 yrs of her life than when she passed. It’s one of the things that is cropping up in my therapy. But grieve I did.
      My dad’s been gone for 14 years now, and I think of him every day.
      Yes!! 2 weeks of real sleep has been brilliant 😀 I am all out of zopiclone now tho (well, held one tablet in reserve lol) so it’s time to see if the progress I have made is going to hold steady or if I need to argue with my gp again
      xx

      Liked by 1 person

  8. beverley says:

    I hope you are feeling a little more brighter xx

    Liked by 1 person

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