It’s been a long time since I had my assessments for dynamic psychotherapy and got put on the waiting list. It’s easily 9 mths, maybe even 10!!
But today I confirmed the start date for the therapy itself – first week of August. Yikes!! That is my overwhelming thought right now – yikes!!!
I know from the assessments that it’s going to be hard. I will be pulling things out to be scrutinised from long ago, not just everything that led to my breakdown last year, and I am not looking forward to that.
I am not looking forward to confronting some of the stuff that will inevitably crop up.
I was tempted to cancel the whole thing but I promised my daughters I would do this.
There’s also this weird kind of feeling that I dont want to turn myself inside out. I have found an equilibrium. It is far from ideal, it’s a very long way from the person I was before everything that happened last year, but it is still an equilibrium. Disrupting that, is scary 😦
Also, I know my blog still gets visited by certain ‘people’. I can only guess at their twisted reasons. But the upcoming process is one that I will want to blog about and I cannot let them put me off doing so.
I hope the therapy will result in things being better for me. I hope. Otherwise what’s the point?! But the process ain’t gonna be fun.