Bad Mood Day

Posted on May 20, 2015 by Moongazer

I am – it definitely has to be said – feeling decidedly growly today. Small things are pissing me off  a lot. I have already had an argument with Littlun, gotten angry at son-in-law-to-be, and grouched and grumbled at my Eldest.

But I think I know why.

Although it makes some sense to me, it might not to anyone else.

Yesterday, two very dear friends were both at a hospital.

My lovely friend so far away in Cornwall was having an investigation for cancer.

And the man my daughter’s love as their step-dad had been waiting on a ward for 2 days for a specialist to say whether a shadow on a scan was cancer of the colon or not. He is family.

There were texts from both my girls to me, and texts between me and him flying back and forth most of the day. I didn’t text my friend in Cornwall as her family were with her, and at times like that I don’t like to cause a distraction. But she was very much in my thoughts.

It’s only in the last half hour, since I have chatted to her that I have felt that familiar adrenaline crash and I realise that’s why I have been so mardy.

I felt enormous relief last night when the girl’s step-dad let me know he was home finally, although he does have to have more tests 😦  But it was only when I knew my other friend was ok that the tension I hadn’t fully realised was there, trickled away.

I now feel quite wrung out.

It strikes me though, that tension has obviously been such a major feature in my life that I didn’t fully recognise it until it was gone. Most stresses are not relieved so easily, and so they build up and seem to almost become part of you. It is not a healthy way to be.

But then living with FM everyday is a big enough stressor, and one we absolutely have to get used to, or we are fighting against ourselves rather than fighting against the illness. If you see what I mean.

Ah well, there is a nice evening to look forward to tonight, as their step-dad is coming round for dinner. Sausage and mash, his favourite lol

And we have blue skies again today after the hail, thunder and drizzle of the last couple of days. You gotta love the little things when the bigger things are so ugly (she says whilst listening to the girls argue over the washing up *sigh*)

 

 

 

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19 Responses to Bad Mood Day

  1. gh0stpupp3t says:
    May 20, 2015 at 2:48 pm

    Bangers and mash! *drools* Bad days come and go.. it’s the good days you hold on to. *hugs*
    I have CFS — Chronic Fatigue syndrome. You want to sleep all the time. 😦 Ehh.

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  2. Linda says:
    May 20, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    Smile…every day is a new day…maybe the rest of the day will get better…and tomorrow’s another day!

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    • Moongazer says:
      May 20, 2015 at 5:56 pm

      That’s kind of my motto, “tomorrow is another day” because of my FM, you just have to keep on hoping that tomorrow will be better.
      It is a good day today because both my friends are ok. I was more mulling over how terribly tense I had been and hadn’t realised until it eased 🙂

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  3. Trisha says:
    May 20, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    I’m glad to hear your friend is okay and your girls’ step-dad is out of the hospital. I get growly when dealing with these kind of stressors too and it always seems to take me a few days to bounce back, energy-wise, afterward. I hope you have a lovely dinner and can shake off the growlies. 🙂

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  4. gentlekindness says:
    May 21, 2015 at 7:32 am

    Having loved ones that are very ill, is very draining and can create a lot of anxiety. It is doubly hard to have 2 at the same time. I don’t know why life does that sometimes.
    I hope you can get some rest.
    Annie

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  5. Vicky Louise says:
    May 28, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    Ooh I can understand a bad mood, I’d be grumpy too! I hope you all enjoyed bangers and mash! (My fave too, with lots of onion gravy!) Xx

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  6. lydiaa1614 says:
    June 24, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    Thank you for this post. You helped me to realize why I have been feeling down and having FM/arthritis flares and back spasms. The young woman we think of as a daughter and her two wonderful kids are going through a very bad time and I have not been in much shape to help them. That’s were the anxiety and stress have been coming from. The illness causes you to not be able to do things you need to and the stress from not doing them flares the illness. I know this was a month ago for you, but I still send you {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

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    • Moongazer says:
      June 25, 2015 at 5:26 pm

      ((((((hugs))))) for you too. It’s awful, isn’t it? Wanting to help but being unable to, adds so much extra stress, and stress does cause more pain 😦
      My friend in Cornwall got the all clear, thank goodness, and the girl’s step-dad still has to have more tests and treatment but it’s nothing nasty, thank the starry skies.
      I hope things ease up soon for your ‘daughter’ and the children. I know how special they are to you and your husband. And even though you might not be as able to help them them as you would like to, I have no doubt that having you in their lives is both a support and a blessing to them xx

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      • lydiaa1614 says:
        June 25, 2015 at 5:30 pm

        I am so happy that your friend and the girl’s step-dad are doing better. It was Kay’s birthday yesterday so we went over and took her favourite ice cream cake and a gift of coffee and a grinder – things that will make her life a little brighter. She was very surprised and thankful. Sometimes it is just the little things that make all our lives a little better.

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