Because I am at the dentist on Wednesday.
To put it mildly, I am absolutely terrified of dentists.
When I was little, during one visit I was given gas (no idea why) and it sent me into a severe asthma attack resulting in me having to be carried out semi-conscious.
When I was slightly older, we sat in the waiting room listening to the screams of another girl being tortured. Blood-chilling, terror stricken and very loud screams. And I was next. When we got in there, the dentist was still shaking himself.
Aged about 9 I was told my mouth was overcrowded, so they removed 4 molars – one from each corner, and gave me a brace. The brace resulted in fillings as my crooked front teeth straightened out and revealed a cavity.
In my early 20’s, I had a root canal that I wasn’t expecting to have.
In my late 20’s, the dentist was doing a filling and each time he went to drill, it felt like he was drilling straight into the nerve. It took 7 injections (you know where the needle feels like it’s going to emerge out the top of your head?) before it was numb enough. I think it took 2 days before I could feel it again.
Same dentist a year or two later, went to do a filling, began to drill and suddenly I heard “Oops”. The tooth had cracked and so had to be removed. It was the first time I had been awake for an extraction. It was worse than having a C-section under a local anaesthetic (and I do know what that is like).
I also witnessed a dentist taking an impression of my Eldest’s teeth when she was 8, watching as my child went red and began to struggle slightly, tears running silently from the corners of her eyes, to which the dentist kept insisting she was fine and just being “silly”, only to discover once she had pulled it out that she had in fact had my daughters tongue trapped!!!
The next dentist my Eldest visited, she bit. Not that I blamed her, of course. In fact, I think I laughed because I have wanted to do the same on soooo many occasions.
The removal of those 4 molars as a child meant that my wisdom teeth gave me no bother, unlike the rest of my family who had to have them surgically removed….but then…….
The root canal tooth ended up gradually (and painlessly) breaking off bit by bit. Joy.
I have nightmares about losing my teeth, and I am scared of having dentures. Mainly because my dad, bless his soul, who at the age of 26 elected to have all his teeth removed and have dentures instead, used to come up behind me when I was watching TV of an evening – and drop his teeth into my lap making me scream.
Thing is……about 2 years ago, one of my back teeth (actually a wisdom tooth that took the place of my missing molar) began to loosen….ever just a little bit. I use Corsodyl mouthwash, but it has not helped, apart from maybe to slow the process.
This tooth is very loose now, and excruciatingly painful at times. It is almost as if the gum is rejecting it, and the pain reaches from my tooth into my ear, down my neck and to the front teeth. It has been like this since the end of November. Finally – a month ago, because I couldn’t bring myself to do it – my Eldest went and made an “urgent” appointment for me – which is on Wednesday.
I spent most of yesterday with my head on my electric heat pad trying to ease the pain, slathering on double strength Orajel (is it just me, or does that sound vaguely rude? LOL)
It’s waking me up, stopping me from sleeping, stopping me from eating properly. I know it needs to come out. But I cannot decide whether I want him to take it out there and then, or book me another appointment.
How tragic is this? Knowing it has to come out, wanting it out to be free of it, yet shit scared of that happening to the point where I will be glad of having to wait for another appointment.
And I am afeared also, because once this one has gone – there will be no back tooth at all on that lower side. How will I eat???
Dentures……*shakes head vigorously and backs away*………I have a feeling I would rather be a soup sucking toothless hag than have those demonic things in my mouth.
So, me very scared. And I have another whole day like this tomorrow to get through 😥