Starting to Feel Scared Now

Because I am at the dentist on Wednesday.

To put it mildly, I am absolutely terrified of dentists.

Here’s why:

When I was little, during one visit I was given gas (no idea why) and it sent me into a severe asthma attack resulting in me having to be carried out semi-conscious.

When I was slightly older, we sat in the waiting room listening to the screams of another girl being tortured. Blood-chilling, terror stricken and very loud screams. And I was next. When we got in there, the dentist was still shaking himself.

Aged about 9 I was told my mouth was overcrowded, so they removed 4 molars – one from each corner, and gave me a brace. The brace resulted in fillings as my crooked front teeth straightened out and revealed a cavity.

In my early 20’s, I had a root canal that I wasn’t expecting to have.

In my late 20’s, the dentist was doing a filling and each time he went to drill, it felt like he was drilling straight into the nerve. It took 7 injections (you know where the needle feels like it’s going to emerge out the top of your head?) before it was numb enough. I think it took 2 days before I could feel it again.

Same dentist a year or two later, went to do a filling, began to drill and suddenly I heard “Oops”. The tooth had cracked and so had to be removed. It was the first time I had been awake for an extraction. It was worse than having a C-section under a local anaesthetic (and I do know what that is like).

I also witnessed a dentist taking an impression of my Eldest’s teeth when she was 8, watching as my child went red and began to struggle slightly, tears running silently from the corners of her eyes, to which the dentist kept insisting she was fine and just being “silly”, only to discover once she had pulled it out that she had in fact had my daughters tongue trapped!!!

The next dentist my Eldest visited, she bit. Not that I blamed her, of course. In fact, I think I laughed because I have wanted to do the same on soooo many occasions.

The removal of those 4 molars as a child meant that my wisdom teeth gave me no bother, unlike the rest of my family who had to have them surgically removed….but then…….

The root canal tooth ended up gradually (and painlessly) breaking off bit by bit. Joy.

I have nightmares about losing my teeth, and I am scared of having dentures. Mainly because my dad, bless his soul, who at the age of 26 elected to have all his teeth removed and have dentures instead, used to come up behind me when I was watching TV of an evening – and drop his teeth into my lap O_o making me scream.

Thing is……about 2 years ago, one of my back teeth (actually a wisdom tooth that took the place of my missing molar) began to loosen….ever just a little bit. I use Corsodyl mouthwash, but it has not helped, apart from maybe to slow the process.

This tooth is very loose now, and excruciatingly painful at times. It is almost as if the gum is rejecting it, and the pain reaches from my tooth into my ear, down my neck and to the front teeth. It has been like this since the end of November. Finally – a month ago, because I couldn’t bring myself to do it – my Eldest went and made an “urgent” appointment for me – which is on Wednesday.

I spent most of yesterday with my head on my electric heat pad trying to ease the pain, slathering on double strength Orajel (is it just me, or does that sound vaguely rude? LOL)

It’s waking me up, stopping me from sleeping, stopping me from eating properly. I know it needs to come out. But I cannot decide whether I want him to take it out there and then, or book me another appointment.

How tragic is this? Knowing it has to come out, wanting it out to be free of it, yet shit scared of that happening to the point where I will be glad of having to wait for another appointment.

And I am afeared also, because once this one has gone – there will be no back tooth at all on that lower side. How will I eat???

Dentures……*shakes head vigorously and backs away*………I have a feeling I would rather be a soup sucking toothless hag than have those demonic things in my mouth.

So, me very scared. And I have another whole day like this tomorrow to get through πŸ˜₯

This entry was posted in Things that make me go "Rarrrr" (or...time for a good Rant!!) and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Starting to Feel Scared Now

  1. suomi571 says:

    I understand your fears! I have severe dental phobia. I need Valium just to go in for a talk with the dentist. Had a very bad experience as a kid. Fell and broke part of my front tooth off. Dentist didn’t even numb it. I was 8. If I go, I need someone there with me in the room. I am scared to death of that stupid hook…. So, see you’re not alone! Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lydiaa1614 says:

    I send you huge hugs! While I am not as afraid of dentists as you are, I totally understand it. I had a dentist drill on the nerves of two teeth he was filling and not do anything about it. Three years later I had a mess of infection. Why am I not afraid of dentists? Only because my current dentist is also a friend and he is so patient and understanding. They do everything to keep me at ease I will be thinking of you Wednesday (your time) for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Moongazer says:

      Thank you Lydia. The hugs are appreciated πŸ™‚
      It makes me wonder what kind of people the dentists of our childhood were!
      I’m glad you have a good dentist now, that must make such a difference.
      The pain woke me again last night and kept me awake for hours so in one way tomorrow can’t come quick enough, but I’d rather it was Thursday already xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. utahan15 says:

    make sure you are comfortable with your dentist. tell them the things that cause you anxiety.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Merbear74 says:

    I know how you feel, I just had a horrifying dental appointment. I remember you said that you were also scared. Big hugs…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. beverley says:

    Your fear is an unconscious reaction to previous experiences and yet this time things will be different, because every experience is different. Those with FMS have an increased susceptibility to pain and i think it is a case for it to be genetic or at least something we are born with. Hope things go well and if they don’t then you could always bite him!

    I had perfect teeth until i began having children in my mid-twenties. Since then my teeth have slowly fallen apart one after another, even to the point where they have just cracked and within days have fallen out.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Vicky Louise says:

    Despite my phobias of other such medical places, I’m totally at ease with the dentists! (not so much the bill afterwards though!) When I was younger I had to have my front bottom tooth removed due to over crowding… I came out crying my eyes out, mum asked why I was crying and I said ’cause my chin is bigger!’ It wasn’t, but the numbing stuff made it feel that way, my mum ended up crying with laughter whilst I attempted to demonstrate the growth in my chin and drooling down myself!
    You will be fine lovely! and if not you can bite just like your daughter did and just innocently claim it was a twitch! πŸ˜›
    Sending big encouraging hugs and brave brain waves your way! πŸ˜€ xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Moongazer says:

    Thank you! I think I’d have been scarred for life if I’d had that experience as a child – my chin is not my best feature as it is! Oh gods, I’d forgotten about the drooling O_o
    LOL xx


    • Moongazer says:

      ps – the thank you in my first reply was for the hugs and brain waves. They are very much appreciated πŸ™‚
      I’ve added this ps bcoz when I read my comment back in full it didnt seem obvious xx


  8. pedanticscouser says:

    Oh, scary, very very scary. Its the injections i dont like, especially if its in gum at front of mouth, hurts more.

    Its funny, i had an overcrowed mouth as a kid, perhaps its a liverpudlian thing LOL.

    Hope you dont loose any teath, dont want to end up looking like an old witch, LOL.

    Good luck

    PS. watch out for an exciting multi-themed blog tomorrow or day after, need to download some photos off camera.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Moongazer says:

    The hag look or dentures? *faints*

    I will do πŸ™‚ Cant promise I will be coherent enough to reply straight away tho. I suspect I will be doing a fair bit of gibbering tmrw xx


  10. magickmogwai says:

    I feel your mental pain. I hate dentists. Well that’s a bit strong, it’s more I am completely terrified of them so highly dislike them because of a few bad experiences. I have loads of holes in my teeth and am currently on a waiting list to see a dentist at the dental hospital where they will (hopefully) knock me out to fix my teeth. But even that is hard and waiting just makes the process worse.

    Keep strong, try to not think about it or keep reminding yourself of the positives which will last infinitely longer than the negatives. Thinking if you hun. Hugs x


  11. gh0stpupp3t says:

    Be strong. *hugs*


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