This was first posted a couple of years ago, but I have noticed a quite regular search term of “if men wore bras” cropping up on my stats page 😀 so I thought I would re-post it.
If Men Wore Bras Would it be a Different Story, I Wonder?
I mean, how hard can it really be to standardise sizes across different companies?
Let me tell you a story, folks – tis a tale of tragedy and woe, of determination……..of torturous ordeals against the unexpected. Go on, make a coffee and pull up a chair…….that’s it……get yourself comfy………perch your bum……..and bring that box of tissues with you, just in case.
About 15 years ago, a 30 year old woman, who thought herself a real fat heffalump, but who was actually only a size 16/18 (UK sizes) was in serious need of some new clothes including new underwear. She was able to buy clothes in such shops as Dorothy Perkins (there was so very little choice in the small, rural town that she lived in……..told you it was a sad tale); but as she had been blessed with a bountiful cleavage, buying a brasiere wasnt as easy as it should have been. Not many shops back then sold dd cup sized bras. After a fruitless search round town, she ended up in Evans – the trusty haven for the big of boob and/or plentiful posteriors.
Hope swelled her dispirited heart, as she scooped up an armful of 38dd bras and carried them into the changing rooms. But dismay was soon to follow after being manhandled by helpful assistants who raided the lingerie shelves time and again in an effort to artfully enfold those bountious boobies.
After an hour and a half however, even they had to admit defeat having presented the poor woman with every bra size from a 36d to a 44b, in every style available. Yet none…….(shall we say that again just to make sure? Ok)……..NONE……..NOT a SINGLE ONE actually fit. Not one.
The woman in question sat and sobbed in the changing room until her sister hauled her out with the promise of a nice cup of tea at Asda.
In the years that followed, the woman – who is me, by the way – found one particular style of bra that really suits. It has a side panel that gives shape whereas most of the other bra styles available either squash my boobies into shapeless mounds of lumpage or they make them look like you could drill cup hooks underneath and hang kitchen utensils off them. Neither of which is a good look – trust me on this!
I may be in my mid 40’s now, and I may have gained weight due to stupid medication and disability, but that doesnt mean I want to hide my decolletage in the matronly monstrosity that is a ‘doreen’ bra (google is your friend if you arent familiar with this ……passion killer of a garment). No, I still want a pretty bra that gives me a decent shape, is comfortable, and helps keep any onlookers eyes off my belly………tis a useful slimming aid you know lol :p
Yeah right……..anyway, the horror that I experienced all those years ago has never quite gone away, and I have always counted myself very lucky when I find the right style of bra in my size; I am now larger than I was then, admittedly, but still not off the scale. I mean, if they can do a size 32G for crying out loud, why the hell cant they construct a bra in my size ???? My size isnt even a scaled up version of that!!!
First shop I tried – I got measured, and she told me I measured larger than the size I was wearing……..hmmmmm…….odd that, as I picked a bra up off the shelf in MATALAN of all places about 8 months ago for under a tenner and it fit beautifully. If the wire hadnt come through I wouldnt be even looking for another one yet. But Matalan have sold out of my size, even online.
She brings me the next size up, and its too big. So she brings me 2 of the same size I asked for and they fit on the band but the cup sizes were wrong. Great.
On to Evans – *wibble* – they didnt have my size either, but they did have the next size up, and the recommended cup size down. Gods, the changing rooms havent changed…..*gulp* – and lo and behold – I couldnt even get the band to meet at the back let alone attempt to do it up!!!! Consequently, I looked at myself in their mirror and this is what I saw………
On then to Marks and Spencers. Once again, sold out in my size, so once again I tried the next size up – and the band was a good 6 inches too small FFS!!! I mean, come on people!!!! How hard is it to standardise your sizes ?? How long have feet and inches been around ????????????? Its pure madness that between 3 different companies there is what amounts to about 8 inches difference – in the same frigging size!!!!
I ended up going online in the evening and came across a wonderful website http://www.amplebosom.com/ and they have my size – in stock, in my favourite style. Yay???
No, not yay. They cost between £70 and £87!! Yes, you read that right. Best part of one hundred English pounds for a bra *faints*.
That finally did me in. I hadnt sobbed for a second time in Evans changing room – but I did in my own living room, and momentarily considered a surgical reduction 😦 whilst despairing at the daunting prospect of losing weight when I cant exercise all because I cant afford a bra that fits!! Or should that be because the companies who make the damn things cant get their sizings right, and dont produce enough of what seems to be one of THE most popular/common sizes of boobs out there among the female population!!
Something wrong somewhere!
PS – I would like to point out that I do actually own more than one bra at a time pmsl, but they have all seen better days. Another side effect of having a long term illness that keeps you in the house much of the time.