I am sorry if I worried anyone yesterday. After a few bad pain days I was desperate to get out yesterday, especially as the rain stopped and the sun came out. I wasn’t even going to let my broken sleep pattern stop me.
Instead it was someone else’s thoughtlessness that kept me stuck indoors again. And I unravelled 😦
It hit me like a ton of bricks just how dependant I am on other people at the moment and I felt the frustration of that as a flood of rage – at thoughtless people, at my own stupid fibro flogged body, at how shit I feel being dependant like this……and……yeah. I cried. A lot 😥
And ranted. And swore. Copiously. Then I sulked a bit lol. Finally I slept for a couple of hours.
I upset Rory by crying. She kept making little anxious sounding chirrups at me and pawed at me a lot. Bless her. She ended up snuggling as close to me as she could.
This morning, after a mere 3 hrs sleep, the air crisp, the roofs frosty and the sun out…….I feel a bit better. But I am so damned tired!!!! I feel like I could sleep on a clothesline! Except I can’t fall asleep. The odd 3 hrs here and there is just taking the piss.
Its making me crabby and I am having multiple random muscle twitches and spasms and on a day when I should be getting things done – I can’t. I can’t focus mentally and with this muscular tourettes thing going on, normal functioning is just not happening.
My whole body is tender to the touch and I have a few bruises, but I haven’t knocked myself *sigh*
This post is taking forever to write.
I have distracted myself as much as poss with Etsy. I have found a wonderful shop full of vintage beads and stuff. There’s an order sitting in the checkout at the moment but I can’t bring myself to hit the button lol.
I collect the vintage stuff, you see. The stuff I have found is from a private collection and I haven’t seen some of it on sale for about 5 years. I might not see it again.
But………that will be that amount less in the car fund. Arrrgghhh!!!! *gnashes teeth*
But……I could use some of them and some from my stash to make a couple of things and make that money back.
But…..will I want to part with them???
I really……seriously…..need some sleep!!!
Thank you for the comments and hugs about yesterdays post xxx
Hopefully normal service will be resumed shortly.