Can’t Sleep

Get’s boring doesn’t it? Hearing me talk about it. I bet!

It’s impossibly tedious for me too.

Distraction is my friend. If I am occupied with something, it distracts me. From the pain. The physical, mental and emotional.

IF I am.

When I am not……….at night when I try to sleep………well, that’s when 2 out of those 3 things just flood in. My head fills. My heart? Well, that’s just been broken too many times now, I think.

The way things were done was unneccesarily cruel. It was plain nasty. Malicious.

I overlapped someone and someone overlapped me. Someone else will overlap them, I expect.

I can imagine the lies perpetuating as attempts at absolution are made. Denials. It’s so very…….pathetic. It is in fact everything they proclaim not to be.

There is an anniversary coming up. The first year is always the hardest, isnt it. Passing through those reminders each one in turn. Once the first time is over it seems to get easier. I might get some sleep around the end of October next year, in that case.

It’ll all come right in the end though. It is amazing what you can do, if your will is strong enough, if your intent is clear and true. If you know what you are doing.

There is nothing magical about that.

Sleep, on the other hand……..that seems to be some kind of alchemy 🙂

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