One of my friends might remember that that used to be my philosophy on life, the universe and everything.
That when a “chapter” ended, you just turned the page and kept reading.
There have been many chapters in my book so far. Sometimes I have had to turn the corner down and set the story aside for a while.
That’s how the 6 months between March and September feel. As though my story was set aside.
There was a reason I decided finally to publish the post before this one. It wasn’t for revenge.
I think I have said before – I do not need to stoop so low.
And it is gobsmacking when you see the dates in black and white.
And truly……if I had known……if he had been honest with me that there was someone else……it would have been so much simpler for me. It’s not as if I didn’t ask him. I did! Repeatedly. He assured me there was no-one else. Promised me.
Yes, I would have been gutted. I’d have ranted and cried. Who the fuck wouldn’t all things considered? But it would have spared me from so much more stress and hurt!! It would have been over!! I would have had nothing more to do with him.
There would have been none of the stress of trying to support him and encourage him and ….fight, at times, for him to “get well”…all while coping with my migraines.
That he knew what I was going through and he led me to believe we were working towards something…that he led me to believe he needed support as he “struggled” through each day…..I have his whatsapp msgs describing it ffs!!
He lied to me……and he betrayed her. (Is betrayed the right word here? It doesn’t feel quite right but I can’t think of a better one. I am sorry). Because at the beginning of May when I went to see him……he was already in another relationship according to Facebook!!!
And *of course* – it’s the boat’s profile….not actually his. Nor is it findable via google.
Truth. Is it really too much, for anyone, to ask for???