A Bit of This, A Bit of That

I’m actually having a break from my beading.
I have at long last started a project I first decided I wanted to do about…7 or 8 years ago. I bought beads for it, a large (er) loom etc and then other stuff happened. It’s never been forgotten tho. I have trawled online for inspiration for my design, sat down a few times with graph paper and coloured pencils, bought a fresh lot of much nicer beads………and yeah….backburner again.
BUT having looked again at all my miyuki delicas today, and not just the ones I bought for this project – I had a brainwave!! And I have finally got it started. No loom. I am hand weaving it in odd count peyote stitch 🙂 having really mastered the stitch and become slightly addicted to it, I think.

More bloggage about that soon tho.

I’ve not had a great few days, it has to be said. Partly because I am struggling to get any further along in getting off this 30mg of duloxetine. As per the advice, I keep going back to the last dose where I feel ‘ok’ – which is one tablet every other day. When I try and stretch it out further the symptoms kind of pounce. Brain zaps, hearing things etc….tis not good.
BUT I think I have found the solution. Empty capsules, so I can divide up my pills into smaller doses.

Its amazing what Google throws up when you ask the right questions.
A whole forum full of people, like me who felt their anti depressants either did them no good, or made them worse.

A guy who blogged about his experience a few years ago. He did the same as me. Researched, armed himself with amino acids, omega oils and multi vitamins…and then he waited til he got the flu and went cold turkey at the same time. He went on to make a living out of helping other people.

But he cited a book The Mood Cure by Julia Ross that he had read. Unbelievably, I hadnt come across it until that moment. It is now on its way to me via the power of ebay.

The forum I found tho – on top of all the other websites, blogs etc that I have already found, really got to me. People were saying exactly what I have been muttering to myself for weeks now.
Things like – why dont the medical profession ask more questions before they prescribe? Why do they assume its only ever 1 or at best 2 neurotransmitters at fault? Why, when mental health issues affect so many people, arent GPs better trained in alternatives apart from the occasional suggestion of exercise and healthy diet…..are they actually mad? Real depression means they are probably the last things on your mind.
There are many questions.

While I was online the other night – and after recovering from a good old fashioned classic migraine that my topirimate should have knocked on the head, I looked into that drug more as well.

And whilst I WAS thrilled at it’s initial migraine suppressing abilities, it clearly isnt working now.

And what I read actually scared me.

For a start – there is no generic alternative to this because one company holds the patent. BUT…..

THEY DO NOT KNOW WHY / HOW IT WORKS.

you might want to read that again.

But this drug – that was first licenced for epilepsy, then found to help migraine is now being licenced and sold in USA as a slimming drug – because a few people found they lost weight while taking it. I did -AT FIRST – but it didnt stay off.
They are also looking to use it for bi-polar and schizophrenia.

BUT THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW IT WORKS

That my friends – is insanity, to my mind.

And – curiously enough – migraines are no longer being considered just a result of the actions of blood vessels, but linked to the balance of….wait for it .  Serotonin and dopamine.

Anyone else getting a feeling of me coming full circle here?

Things I know for certain –

> my mood is improving since taking the amino acids.
> on the odd occasions i do manage 6 hours sleep, i wake feeling rested instead of the usual like shit that I have become used to as a way of life.
It’s a long way from what it needs to be….but its a bloody start.
> since reducing the anti depressants by 2/3 i am much clearer headed than I was.
> I have lost weight.

Back to my beading now
Traaa xx

Misfits – In the doorway/Deep purple – Burn/The Cult – Revolution/Desmond decker – The Israelites/Hothouse Flowers – Dont Go/Underworld – Born Slippy/Beastie boys – fight for your right/Phil Collins – groovy kind of love/Sonique – Feels so good/Billy Bragg – Milkman of human kindness/Primal scream – country girl/Joan Armatrading – love and affection/Tantric – astounded/Counting crows – anna begins/The view – same jeans/Patsy cline – crazy/

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This entry was posted in Beads and pretty things, Depression, Soundtrack Of My Life and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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