Another hot day here. Tis a glorious day outside. The sun is shining, the birds are singing. And once again I am sitting in behind semi closed curtains due to extreme light sensitivity. The brightness of my phone cannot be turned down any further, and still it seems a touch too bright for comfort.
Maybe the fact that I got no more than about half an hour’s doze last night isn’t helping matters. But when I close my eyes there is a solid, bright area of light so this has to be some kind of migraine symptom – yet again.
And how to sleep when the light is on behind your closed eyelids?
That might stop me sleeping now. But it wasnt what stopped me sleeping last night.
Last night it was my brain. Grasshoppering around all over the place. Even running through scenarios it was. You know – the “what if’s” and “if only’s” and there was even a mahoosive “if I ever….” But despite that last one allowing me to mentally vent my spleen it only made me physically more tense and further away from sleep than ever.
By the time the house began to stir for the day ahead, I was no closer to solving my conundrum.
I mean, what do you do when you…..feel…..the stargate slide…….hear the click deeper down than those before……..and know…..in your very core…………in your heart…..and deeper…….much deeper within you……that if that wasnt the last click, there surely cant be many more. Because in that deep down place…….that click felt so……..absolute.
But the conundrum is…..on the surface, things arent sorted yet.
And until I know that everything is in order, I cant be ready.
Especially when physically and mentally so much is against me getting stuff sorted.
Conundrum……its a good word.